When I say life happens wine helps I don’t mean I drink wine all day I just mean it’s a major help when you have four kids including one your that’s husband one that’s your stepdaughter one that’s a toddler and one that’s just three months old. I start my day with coffee I end my day with wine (if I’m lucky) it’s a good way to balance! I’m starting this blog to share with you how hard marriage can be, how hard parenting can be, how hard being a stay at home mom can be (really it’s the hardest job I’ve ever had). I don’t plan on sugarcoating anything because let’s face it that’s not the honest truth! the honest truth is I love my life and everything that is in it. However, there are some moments where I feel like I’ve lost myself but then there are moments where I realize I literally found who I am through these little souls that live through me including my husband. I love my life and I honestly would not change it but I feel I have so much to say and you know I think my Toddler and my three-month-old…..I don’t think they understand me. Yes, I admit I’ve tried to have conversations with them (but who doesn’t). I completely bombarded my husband when he walks through that door from work I miss human contact so much sometimes that I go crazy face timing family members, they’re completely over me trust me so hopefully, I get to shed some light on my parenting struggles. Because who doesn’t have those and yeah we’ll see where goes from there.
Mommy shaming seems to be the new norm these days.
I am for one over it and think it’s horrible. Do you? Since when did parenting become “I know it all” because we don’t! Hell, I’m still figuring this crap out. I’m pretty much gliding through these days and just working as I go.
I have been mommy shamed on numerous occasions and its complete utter bullshit!
Yeah, that’s right I’m calling Bullshit on the whole thing?
I won’t sit here and say I haven’t made comments about others parenting styles because we all do
But and this is the big But!!
When did it become ok to actually critic that parent and make them feel bad? Or second guess their motion?
Things I’ve been mommy shamed for and my answer now:
You let your son sleep with you till he was 3 1/2? Yeah, I don’t care!! What’s it to you?
Had you a c-section? Completely out of my control you asshole
You let your kid eat cake for breakfast? It was one time!!
Do you keep your kids occupied with television? Yes yes and hell yes it’s been a great babysitter thank you very much.
You feed your kid McDonald’s? Yeah, and I get myself a big mac while we’re at it. It is called balance.
You still let your four-year-old wear pampers to bed? Yeah, are you cleaning the sheets.
I swear the list can go on but really.
Who are these people and what’s it to you? Do as you please as so will I!
I’ve been seeing so much of this lately and I think it is extremely sad. Not only as moms are we already are biggest critics but now you got some random Jane or Jon Doe pretty much bashing your style.
I’m sorry I’m not perfect
Or better yet I refuse to let my kids walk through society thinking there is such thing as being perfect. Because their not!
It’s safe to say if you are not feeding my children or supporting them in any way, please keep it to yourself. And don’t do the things I do with your kids isn’t it that simple.
If you don’t want to have a glass of wine in your pantry closet at the end of the day while the kids color each other with magic markers that’s fine. I’m that parent. My style isn’t perfect but I am the best version of me for my children you know? They like me so I mean.. Well, not every day. But for the most part, they think I’m okay and I’m okay with that.
When they are older I’m sure they will greatly appreciate me
Till then can we stop judging other mom’s?
I have a severe obsession with these cleaning products! Especially since having little ones who want to touch everything and anything the honest products are perfect and there are no harsh chemicals.
Don’t get me wrong especially this flu season I do break out the Lysol and Clorox because let’s face it we obviously need it. My son started preschool this year and he has managed to bring every germ home with him.
I am going to work on all my cleaning products even my homemade ones! Yes, homemade those are the best I will get a blog up about it this week!
Like the majority of moms, I spend most… Well if we are being completely honest I spend ALL Sundays cleaning and organizing and disinfecting meal prepping you name it!
My husbands always tells me “babe you have to learn how to rest and relax” and he’s right, its true I fail in the department of “taking better care of me” we all usually feel guilty about shopping for ourselves or sleeping past noon if we could.
Not today, not this day.
Today I and my little soulmates slept in we had breakfast at noon and currently still in our pajamas. Because this year I vowed to myself and to my kids that I would be a better version of me. I would embrace our time and not sweat the small stuff like the dishes being piled high.
Because NOW is NOW
So we are currently taking us a day. With lots of coffee for me and plenty of snuggles for them.
The dishes will still be there
The sheets are not going anywhere
The dust will still linger
And I will forever have a list of chores to get done.
So instead I’ll spend my rainy Sunday loving on my sweet baby’s because tomorrow they are older than today and time is the only thing against us.
Enjoy your kids always.
“People think that just because you become a mother you have to star dressing and acting like a yellow starburst. You can be a mother and still be a pink starburst, you totally can!”
Nothing makes a better Saturday then dinner done before six your house semi-clean the kids bathed before your shows come on.
My week has consisted of one sick babe and the other seems to be on his way of a head cold, unfortunately. My pantry closet is fully stocked with Lysol and Clorox wipes.
But and it’s a big BUT!
I am so tired and I’m out of wine and low on coffee, how convenient.
I have made a bed on the couch (its easier this way when the kids are sick) my back is of course out of whack. And I’m in dying need of a good full 8hours of uninterrupted sleep. But that’s not looking too promising these days.
You know what makes this better? My poor girl is teething so bad. And trust me we’ve tried it all I literally have been praying to the tooth fairy every night for those suckers to pop out!
I’m pooped (not literally)
Now is now though and time is fleeting.
How can I ever resist these tiny humans? I never could and don’t quite understand how others do.
Brutally honestly I can use a vacation but for these tiny humans who suck the life out of me and that’s literally. Some days I have no energy and I pretend I do just so they don’t see the exhaustion. I could never be away from them.
I rather be this tired
Dinner tonight was an oreo
But that’s okay
Tomorrow will be better
And through every exhaustion, I just pray for my children to grow to be happy and nice individuals who can say
My mom always did her best.
Because I try.
When I mention to people I’ve had two c-sections they automatically assume it was a piece of cake. A walk in the park if you must.
The hardest yet most invigorating thing my body has ever endured.
Most people think you don’t suffer labor pains. I did.. Twice.
My first was 29hours of labor. Didn’t dilate at all. It was far from my birth plan. My second was scheduled c-section but of course wentinto labor before my scheduled date.
We have to listen to our bodies and just because you can’t give vaginal birth it doesn’t make you less of a woman. Honestly around of applause to all of us, mom’s who go through both. It’s hard, it’s exhausting it’s both painful and scary and yet so exciting.
It will never look the same and my stomach will never be the same but when I look at my two precious baby’s I can say I did that.
Once you’re drugged up the hard part is over but that scar will always remind you what your body went through being tossed around the table, all the sounds of the tools the bright lights it’s not something you will ever get used too.
The recovery is the hardest the car ride alone back from the hospital is absolutely dreadful. The pain after is nothing I can ever explain all the while you still manage to walk around love on your baby breastfeed or bottle feed either or theirs no breaks in-between. But you’re doing it pain and all because this is that moment the moment I realized my body can go through hell and back and I will still be so strong. It’s not the prettiest, it’s not the skinniest.
But this body did it. Brought two beautiful babies into this world. Hours of labor.. Hours of surgery and months of recovery.
Having a c-section is no different the vaginal birth. I refuse to feel guilty because my body couldn’t “do it” but you know what my body did it recovered and every mark on my stomach will bring me back to how strong I was and how strong I am.
We are all strong
And truth be told C-sections..
They are just as hard.
It’s safe to say this week has been insanely difficult!
Everything has gotten the best of me and I’ve cried one too many times this week. I’ve been suffocated in loads of laundry. I volunteered myself in the kid’s school activities. The holidays are around the corner and I have yet to get my shopping done. My 3-year-old has been a major asshole. I know I shouldn’t say that but he has and I swear he enjoys it. My four-month-old is teething so bad and I am literally feeling guilty for wanting alone time.
But I need it…
I need to breath
It is always at night after all the madness I look around me I see my babies sleeping peacefully in their beds. I think to myself I am so blessed aside from the headache that naturally comes with parenting. I am blessed so incredibly blessed.
I am a person who likes to try and keep it together 99% of the time and if anything about being a parent has taught me is I will barely have it together a majority of the time. Maybe not even a solid 50%. And I admit I’ve struggled with that but I am now learning to be content with it.
Let the dishes pile up sometimes
It is okay
Let the laundry accumulate
It is okay
Don’t make the bed
It is okay
A gourmet meal every night is not mandatory
It is okay
It is okay
It is okay
In pajamas past noon
It is okay
The list can go on TRUST ME! All I have learned from this is. It is okay that you’re not perfect. You never were, you never will be and you never have to be. I have to cuddle my babies before taking care of the small stuff.
This is the most exhausting, yet exciting time in my life. My babies will never need me more than they need me right now.
I will never be this tired.
And that is okay.
For my sweet babies, I will breathe and reboot and tomorrow I will be a better me.
Or should I say mommy fail?
This week has kicked my ass in every which way.
I’m ready for the weekend and even more ready for the holidays!
This weekend I’m gonna catch up and discuss my thanksgiving favs!
Stay tuned! This was short I promise it’s not writers block. The kids are sleeping and I should be too.
This has completely been me this past week. I’m ready for a nap five days ago. Today I left my house in pajama pants and crazy red fuzzy socks.
I desperately need sleep.
Keeping it short
Because while the baby is sleeping I should try an get something done.
Parenting is never easy especially when you have to parent together. You have to learn to be a team. You made these babies together and you have to finally pick your battles. Me and my husband have two different outlooks on parenting.
Good cop, this is completely my husband. He is extremely laid back and really never bothered which has its pros and cons.
Bad cop, completely me. No questions asked I’m the one who enforces dinner time, homework time. I have chore charts and I enforce a lot more structure in the house.
No questions asked I feel like I’m running a tight ship. My husband feels like “kids will be kids, so just let them” and yeah I agree in a lot of ways he’s right. That’s why I don’t mind our differences it’s almost a middle a balance if you might call it.
The most thing I admire about my husband is what an awesome an amazing father he is to our children.
I don’t have a close-knit relationship with my father. Growing up I always envisioned my children having both parents present. I’m so fortunate that this is the case.
I love my husband but watching him love my babies makes me fall in love with him so much more.
This was the last time I dolled myself up I don’t do it as much as I like. Because well… this and baby spit up don’t really go. I remember crying to my husband the first time I was pregnant I was telling him I didn’t want to lose myself. That didn’t go as planned I gained a whopping 100lbs Yikes!. Four years later I struggled to lose the weight by my second pregnancy I knew things had to be different because I didn’t want to pack on more lbs. So I ate right and actually lost weight (thank god because I couldn’t afford to gain more.)
A girl will steal your beauty and she did.
These days my go-to attire is yoga pants and work out gear. I’m not really working out I’m just wearing it. My husband was sweet enough to buy me all new makeup since I was feeling like a drought. He tells me I don’t need it… And he’s probably right but there’s no better feeling than a good lipstick. Am I right?
Backtrack to my wedding day where I just felt FABULOUS! Everything about this was right prosecco was on point and I was beyond glammed up.
But for now, I’m rocking the no makeup look
All I can say it’s been quite refreshing!
So back to what I’m really saying its so easy to feel like you’ve lost yourself as a mom. From the beginning, you naturally go through alot. From your uterus and everything else being stretched, you not being able to do your hair as much as you use to so you’ve been rocking the bun look. Or the chapstick is the new lipstick and if you don’t have that your pulling out your babies a&d (do not judge me it’s been cold and my lips were in need of hydration it was one time and I’m not ashamed)
Make yourself feel good!
Throw on that bold new lipstick, make your lashes fuller than they ever been. Take that tag off that new shirt. Don’t lose yourself if anything embrace what you are. Your title as a mom goes a long way. I remind myself “wow, you are more beautiful than ever” and I am I’ve birthed two beautiful babies I’ve lost weight I’ve gained. I may or may have not waxed in the past year but I mean who cares (I need to make an appointment, seriously) the point is..
You are a mom
A beautiful one